


things you can't outrun

by ShippingThings



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Cisco Ramon, Canon Compliant, Canon Dialogue, Canonical Character Death, Episode: s01e03 Things You Can't Outrun, Feelings, M/M, The Flash 1x03, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 21:51:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9680459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingThings/pseuds/ShippingThings
Summary: They’re still alive, but Cisco can’t breathe.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, I just started watching the Flash (I love it) and when I watched Things You Can't Outrun this pairing really stuck with me. Then I checked for fic and there was like none... So here we are.  
> The title is the same as the episode title because I couldn't come up with anything else.  
> Thanks to my friend Alex (Bal3xicon on ao3) for taking a quick look at this for me. It really helped.  
> Enjoy.

Feet pound in tandem against metal floors, echoes ringing through the empty halls.

Cisco’s ribs burn as he attempts to keep up with the taller man’s pace, not hesitating to follow wherever it is he’s leading.

At the entrance into the particle accelerator, Ronnie hits the button to open it, immediately filling the empty space of the doorway. He turns back towards Cisco, not looking remotely fearful of what’s to come.

“Okay, you stay here. We’ve only got a few more minutes before this thing blows and if I’m not back in time you need to initiate lockdown.”

Cisco knows he’s the structural engineer and by far the most qualified to handle this situation, but he just can’t let him go so easily.

“Nooo way. I am  _ not _ closing this door. I won't be able to open it again.” He sounds like a scared little kid. Fear radiates through him as he stares at Ronnie, trying to commit his features to memory.

“Cisco,” Ronnie could get him to do just about anything with those two syllables, maybe he knows that Cisco will do what he asks if he just says his name and looks into his eyes like he’s all that matters in this moment. Ronnie had always had a tendency to focus all of his attention on the person in front of him. “If you don’t seal off the blast  _ everyone _ in this building will die. Including Caitlin.” Of course, Cisco _ isn’t _ the only one who matters here.

He knows everyone that works at STAR Labs and he can feel the weight of each detail he knows about their lives weighing down on his back. Their lives or his feelings.

Cisco glances around, searching for another option, a way out that is deathproof.

“Okay. Now _ promise me _ .” Ronnie steps into his space, capturing his gaze.

Cisco nods, feeling a helplessness he hasn’t felt since he was a teen. He’s scared to speak.

He wants to hug Ronnie and not let go, hug him in they way he’d never before allowed himself, their bodies pressed as close as possible, chest to chest, his head on Ronnie’s shoulder, their mismatched height causing Ronnie's knees to bump against Cisco's thighs, but he can’t bring himself to close the distance.

“Set your watch. Two minutes.”

He does as he’s commanded and watches the first two seconds tick off.

They’ve already wasted so much time. Cisco has wasted so much time keeping him here instead of allowing him to do what he needs to do. 

“You’re coming back,” he informs as though he has any control over if that’s true or not.

The other man’s gaze lingers and Cisco lets himself hope that Ronnie’s feeling the same things he is.

His feet move to follow as he watches Ronnie, tall, handsome, adorable, _ brave _ ,  _ Ronnie, _ run off into the particle accelerator. Muscles in his back visible beneath his shirt as he pushes himself to go as fast as his body will allow, time working against him.

Cisco feels like he’s being torn in half. Part of him wants to follow after, but the other half of him knows he has to stay, for the good of the many rather than his own selfish desires.

He had been content to watch Ronnie with Caitlin. With Cait, Ronnie wouldn’t be in any danger except maybe the occasional lecture about neatness. With Cait, Cisco was sure Ronnie would live a good life, one that kept him happy, and that’s all Cisco really needed to know to make it hurt less, but knowing that he might never come back is agonizing.

He stands perfectly still, feet anchored on the ground, sure he wouldn’t move even if the building started to crumble atop him, eyes and ears hyper focused on his watch and the doorway in front of him as the digits count down. He needs to hear Ronnie’s heavy footsteps approaching, he needs to see him bolting towards the door.

He’s counting in his head, but he can’t believe what he knows, so he checks to be safe.

**_00:02_ **

**_00:01_ **

**_00:00_ **

**_BeepBeep._ **

His lip quivers, but he moves to do as he was ordered, still keeping his eyes trained towards the door, praying for something he knows won't come.

Something inside him screams as he moves to press the button on the screen that will lock Ronnie inside forever.

He feels sick to his stomach as the door slides closed.

He has to remind himself that everyone else is safe because he did that. That his best friend and the person Ronnie cares about most is safe. He’d be happy with that, so Cisco should be too, and he is but his heart feels gone from his chest.

Then, comes the familiar, frantic, click of heels and he’s never felt worse.

“Where’s Ronnie? _ Cisco, where is he? _ ” 

It hurts him to look at her, her once comforting familiarity now sending ice through his veins.

“He’s still inside.” His voice is too calm, too void of emotion, shock manifesting as indifference even though he feels so much.

“ _ What? _ Open the door!” 

“I can’t, we’re in lockdown mode.”

“Cisco, we have to get him out of there or he’ll die.”

He knows.

“Cisco! Can you hear me?” It eases his mind, just a little, to hear Ronnie’s voice coming out of a walkie talkie. 

“Ronnie, it’s me!” Caitlin shouts, panicked, getting there before he can.

The entire facility starts to tremble. Sounds of sparks flying and the sound of metal twisting and cracking can be heard on the other end of the line.

"Caitlin! Is- is Cisco there?" 

His heart thuds. Ronnie wants to talk to him instead of his fiance. 

"Yeah! Ronnie! I'm here! I'm listening!" He's desperate.

"I adjusted the magnets to redirect the beam. To try and vent the systems so the blast goes  _ up _ and not _ out _ ."

That will help. Not to save Ronnie’s life, but at least it will make his sacrifice worth it.

"I'll need to redirect the particle parameters to compensate." He's running on autopilot.

Caitlin keeps talking into the radio as Cisco removes a panel from the wall, dropping to get level with the wiring. The sound of Ronnie's voice evening out, becoming less frantic, is the only thing that keeps his hands moving.

As they converse, he tears his fingers open on wires and sharp exposed pieces of metal as he tries to adjust for the change.

"Caitlin. Whatever happens-"

Static. 

" _ Ronnie. RONNIE! _ "

The building slowly comes to a stand still.

They’re still alive, but Cisco can’t breathe.

He wasted years with his feelings for Ronnie bottled up inside. He’s always found comfort in the fact that he would always have chances to tell Ronnie, that he always could if he wanted to and that Ronnie wouldn’t think any less of him for it. Ronnie had always been so clearly straight, but he’d always been so nice to Cisco, offered to help set him up with guys and girls alike. Cisco always knew a confession would go over well with Ronnie, he’d sit him down and they’d talk it through, make it okay (Ronnie could make anything seem like it was okay), but now his chances are spent.   
After a few, agonizing moments, he looks up to find Caitlin, tears forming in her eyes, her muscles stiff as she stares off, practically through the walls. 

He wants to cry too, but he has no right. Not the way she does. 

They were going to be married.

He can’t imagine what it would be like to lose someone as unique as Ronnie after being so close to having him for what _ should’ve _ been forever.

He sucks it up, choosing to store his pain for later and takes his friend in his arms instead, squeezing her tight as she sobs hard into his shoulder, instantly going limp in his arms.

He’s not strong enough to hold her up, he doesn’t have the type of strength she’s used to collapsing into when life throws too much her way. He has to ease them both down to the ground to not let go. 

He can barely even register that it’s really happening. He can’t allow himself to feel everything he wants with anyone around, especially Caitlin.

His lungs continue to burn, although now not from exertion but because of the effort to push his feelings back. He’s scared that if he lets out a long enough exhale his tears will come rushing after.

Inside his chest, between the spaces his lungs should be feels hollow, like an empty bottle, it’s contents drained, now left with nothing to hold onto. Her her tears reach his skin and he doesn’t think anything will ever fill the void.

**Author's Note:**

> Because I haven't seen the rest of the series and I don't really know what happens or if Cisco actually had something to reveal I'm just gonna say that when Cisco wants to talk to Cait at the end of the episode about what happened the night Ronnie died he's going to tell her that he loved Ronnie, but then she cuts him off.  
> my tumblr: [darlinglena](http://darlinglena.tumblr.com/)  
> Alex's tumblr:[ Balexi](http://balexi.tumblr.com/)  
> (also, I would like to add that Cisco is my kid and I love him)


End file.
